I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Vodka?
Forever.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
