I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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