he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
