fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
