She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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