Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
