Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
