these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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