I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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