Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
