I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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