Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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