i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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