Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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