Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
