My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
