This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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