How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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