So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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