WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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