I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
