do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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