But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
