Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
