I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just burned my penis
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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