Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
