i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
