Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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