Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
