I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
