ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
