Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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