If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
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the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
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Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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