i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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