I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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