Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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