Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
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while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
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woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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