And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
