You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
