im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
