so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
