the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
