Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Just pee around me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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