I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
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she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
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And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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