I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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