Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
