My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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