her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
