Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
