They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
