Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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