Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
