I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
she smelled like a LAN party
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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