He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Rumble strips road head = magical
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
