I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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