I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
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My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
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The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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