her vagine was all disorganized.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He shit in the fireplace
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
