I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
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IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
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what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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