Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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