You work out of a Hotel?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
