please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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