His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
