after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
