I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
