dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
there is puke in my bra ... again
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
