I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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