yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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